· Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
· The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
· Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
· Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs.
· Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
· Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
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