Just awoke from another dream. It's weird that I find comfort in even hurtful dreams because at least there I get to see her again. I woke this morning ready to look for a phone and call her and then the reality sinks in once again and I realize I can't. Just like those first days when you didn't want to go to sleep because waking up into the hell that you had to face and tell yourself was real was harder than staying awake all the time.
Why does it just seem like yesterday.
I don't see me ever getting to the point like an acquaintance we know who lost an 11 year old son when he drowned while swimming. He said he thinks about him from time to time. It has been many years for him. It's only been two for me but still my days are filled with thoughts of her.
1 comment:
This acquaintance had his son for 11 years and you had Carrie for twenty. You have a lot more to hang on to. I can't see you ever getting to the stage where she comes into your thoughts just now and again. You were all so close for so many years.
We were singing amazing grace last week in church and I just filled up. When I joined our bereavement and support group two years ago I did say I had a foot in both camps. I wanted to help others and might find some for myself at that time. It is surprising how your emotions can be stirred by the experience of others. As our work is confidential I can't talk about it but there are times when I would love to share things with you. LOve Mum xxxxxxxx
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